Sunday, August 3, 2008

My overwhelming emotions

We meet with the specialist and had a sequential screen done. It only tells us the risk of the baby having Down syndrome or trisomy 18. The blood work will be back on Friday. The ultrasound seemed very positive. The doctor said ultrasound measurement looked very normal. It seemed to go well. I am feeling a little less anxious- not 100%. Here are some new pics from the appt.



I have so many times sat down to blog and then just became overwhelmed. Here is what is troubling me so much. I am torn with various emotions - but some are stronger than others - guilty and scared.I feel guilty because I was so excited when we found out about all of the other pregnancies; I am not yet excited. I am just scared and worried. If I could be guaranteed that baby would be 100% healthy, I would be excited to bring another life into the world. I know that I cannot be guaranteed anything in life and it is God's plan not mine. Yet I am still struggling with my emotions even after many prayers.

So we are going to a specialist on Monday. At 2pm we will meet with a genetic counselor and then at 3pm with the Dr for 1st trimester screen. I feel so anxious about going. I pray that we will be strong no matter the outcome.

I am trying to truly relay on the Lord right now as we journey again with our new baby.