It has become overwhelming; just the everyday tasks. Some think it was just a matter of time before I would loose it and become depressed. For many months, weeks, days, I seemed to busy myself with anything just to be busy -to fill the void. I am at a point where I cannot fill that void by busying myself.
I have gotten by everyday waking up knowing that I have the responsibility to care for 3 beautiful children- I need to pray for patience and guidance. I understand God's plan and know that death is an important part of that plan. I just would like to hold my child in my arms for one more time - actually forever. It has been easy to talk to others about our special Walker; it has been easy to talk about our trials and how to overcome; so why is it getting so hard to do everyday tasks - like laundry or dishes? I would like for the trial we as a family are going through to get easier - yet as time goes on it seems to have gotten harder. Shouldn't time heal not bring more sadness? Is it sadness or just tiredness? I wish I had the answers- I guess I do within my faith of God.
Pray for faith to continue to strengthen our family.
2 comments:
We have and will continue to keep you guys in our prayers.
Welcome to blogging. I think you will find it a great way to get your thoughts down.
Kerry
I hear exactly what you are saying. I thought that time would heal my heart but it seems to get harder before easier. I wish there was a cliff note for this healing, grieving, loss of a child thing. It just ain't right! Something that no one should ever have to go through, never! Thinking of you tonight...and no, we don't know each other...but God must have brought me to your page tonight for a reason.
Post a Comment